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Kelly Irvin

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Really, God? I have to love not-so-nice people?

Home » Blog » Really, God? I have to love not-so-nice people?
June 28, 2020 by Kelly Irvin

Sometimes life lessons take time to learn.  We often have to learn them the hard way. My favorite oncology medical assistant for the past five years had to leave because her husband is in the military and he’s been transferred. She was a sweet, extraordinarily kind, knowledgeable health care professional who jumped through hoops to help me with difficult problems more bureaucratic than medical. She made this cancer journey more bearable. She left before I had a chance to say goodbye or thank her. Her replacement, I learned last week, is the polar opposite. Therein, lies my latest illustration of a lesson I’ve had to learn once again after having it reinforced by my pastor’s Sunday message recently. It’s easy to love nice people, but we’re called to love everyone–even the not-so-nice people.

Jonah 1:17It’s no coincidence Pastor David preached on Jonah and his extreme dislike of the Ninevites right when I needed to hear the story. God wanted Jonah to warn these creeps that he would destroy them if they didn’t straighten up and fly right. Jonah hated them so much he refused. He ran away. Then he asked some sailors to throw him into the sea because he’d rather drown than be obedient. Instead a huge fish (not a whale as we may have been led to believe) swallowed him. Jonah prayed and said he would relent. So the fish spat him out on dry land. Jonah delivered the message, and just as he expected, the Ninevites rushed to mend their evil ways, which led to God spare them.

What does this have to do with my medical assistant? This: it’s easy to love nice, sweet, fun people. It’s easy to do God’s bidding and love everyone–as long as they’re, you know, lovable.  Following God’s lead and loving those who are mean, unkind, disagree with us or have different politics is much harder.

I love the staff at my little clinic (now closed for the next month for reasons that make no sense, but that’s another story). I love my oncologist, her transcriber, the phlebotomist, the nurse, and the receptionist. This is why I switched from the big, ridiculously busy clinic with long waits and surly nurses to the small clinic. Then this medical assistant comes along who doesn’t introduce herself or bother with simple pleasantries and even tries to push off a mistake on the nurse instead of simply saying sorry about that. It’s hard not to resent it. Medical staff members have a huge impact on how patients with life-threatening chronic diseases get through treatment day. Sometimes I don’t think they realize to what degree.

That said, David’s message reminded me that I have an obligation as a Christian to love the folks who aren’t nice to me. Who don’t make my day. Who may actually make it worse. Not only that, I’m supposed to pray for them. He asked us this question: are you praying for “those people?” For the “other” political party?  And he’s not talking about asking God to send the other guy straight to hell.

Nope, he says we have to pray that they draw closer to Jesus. And if there’s anyway we can help them accomplish that, we’re to do it.

Plant Flowers, not weeds graphicI’m forced to stop and ask myself why this medical assistant is so brusque. She’s new, rushed, and stressed. Maybe she’s simply not a people person. Neither am I. How can I help? It’s my job to be nice. To smile and ask her how her day has been. I could tell her to have a good day, maybe even say, “God bless you,” as I walk away.

Instead, I’m just like Jonah. I’m ducking my head, kicking at the rocks with my sneaker, and mumbling, “I don’t wanna. Do I have to, God?”

The answer is yes. And I’m expected to have a good attitude while I do it. I have chemo this week. I’ll let y’all know how it goes.

How do you deal with difficult people you encounter a long the way? Tips are appreciated!

Category: BlogTag: Cancer, Christians, God, healthcare, healthcare providers, Jonah, medical assistants, Ninevites, oncology, Prayer
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Comments

  1. Ginger Sykes

    June 29, 2020 at 7:17 am

    It’s so hard to be nice to someone who is cold. We had a pastor, who just transferred to another church, who was not compassionate. When my husband died, I asked him if it was okay to have a former pastor do the service. He said okay. Well, long story short, he was very cold to the former pastor, never said a word to me or my family. I finally asked for a meeting with him after 5 weeks. He couldn’t give me an answer why he treated us this way in our time of need. I did resent him for a long time but finally started to pray for him & his ministry. I don’t know if changed his life but it did mine. The resentment left and I began the healing process. God chose a new journey for me on earth. One I wouldn’t have chosen but I accept His will. It’s been rough with lots of tears but with God walking with me, friends & family helping me, I will get through this. Why God puts difficult people in our lives I don’t know but maybe it’s to make us stronger in our faith. Will be praying for the medical worker & hopefully prayers will help her. God bless you & you are in my prayers. I play the piano for church & the song ” In His Time” comes to mind this morning.

    Reply
    • Kelly Irvin

      June 29, 2020 at 1:40 pm

      We can’t change other people’s attitudes, but we can sure control our own. But it’s human to want to respond in kind when people act badly. We’re all works in progress. I’m sorry you had this experience at such a difficult time in your life, but glad you can see the way God used it to hone you into who you are now.

      Reply
  2. Tim Johnson

    June 29, 2020 at 7:59 am

    Kelly, thank you for sharing your experience. We are called to be the salt of the earth, but we often don’t want that. Jonah is a great example. Here is one of my experiences.

    Many years ago, I transferred to a new job in my company here in Tucson. There was a fellow in my department who made a point in a meeting that he didn’t think I had much to offer. He didn’t mention me by name, but his words made clear I was his target. I’m not generally confrontational, so I simply avoided him as much as I could. Then, during one of those games of corporate musical chairs, we were assigned to share an office. Yikes! As we got to know each other, we both began to have an appreciation for each other’s strengths and weaknesses. He discovered that I had something to offer the department that he had not seen before. I found he was hurting, and needed someone to listen to his issues. Eventually, we became the best of friends. Later, through his long, fierce battle with colon cancer, several of us got to witness our faith to him. My friend is now in heaven.

    Reply
    • Kelly Irvin

      June 29, 2020 at 1:42 pm

      Sometimes we simply can’t see the long haul. We’re so mired in the present and the difficulties. I look back at my dealings with difficult people throughout my life and see how I’ve learned from those situations. I’m glad you could be there for your friend in his final journey.

      Reply
  3. Sylvia

    June 29, 2020 at 8:54 am

    Such an awesome lesson we can take to apply to our lives
    pray all goes well

    Reply
  4. Pastor David Trawick

    June 29, 2020 at 9:12 am

    Don’t you just hate it/love it when God sends a message so pointed at just the right time? 😉 You’ve heard some of my stories, so you know I’m not immune to this struggle. It’s part of our sinful human condition. God is sooo good to love us anyway, to offer forgiveness through Christ, and lend his Spirit to help us grow. Keep on keepin’ on, Kelly! Blessings.

    Reply
    • Kelly Irvin

      June 29, 2020 at 1:17 pm

      I often wonder how many other people are listening to your message thinking “this one is directed at me.” Happens to me with songs on KLOVE too. God has his ways of getting his point across!

      Reply
      • Carol Bell

        July 4, 2020 at 2:27 am

        I often think David’s sermons are pointing to me! I don’t know how he does it, but I’ve heard others say the same thing. I just watched “Mary Magdalene” this week. I really liked it. There’s a conversation between Jesus and a woman where Jesus asks “How does it feel to carry that hate in your heart? Does it lessen as the months go by? It seeps into your days… your nights… until it consumes everything you once were.” Then Mary repeated that message later in the movie…. it really moved me. It’s very difficult to do, but I do pray that I can be loving to those I can’t stand.

        Reply

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